Let’s Get Personal

By Shane Sauer

Last week’s blog gave you 2 Steps to help you with any change. Today, I want to help you dig a little deeper by asking, “What’s important to you?” Is it your friends and family, your career, your pets, your health? Write down as many as you want. There are no right or wrong answers here because it’s different for everyone.

Now, when you think about these things, how do they make you feel? How would you feel if you lost them?

I’m willing to bet that the things that have an obvious importance in your life also have a visceral, emotional component as well. That’s why you’re willing to commit time and energy to maintain them and protect them. They are priorities in your life because you care deeply about them.

Do you know what else takes time and energy? Changing habits. And chances are that when you decide to take action on a change in your life, you underestimate how draining it will be. Habits are used by your brain because going on autopilot is energy-efficient and time-saving. Even if the change you desire is for the better, you will still run up against internal resistance.

But fear not… there is hope! I’m sure you have found time and energy before for things that are important to you. So, let’s apply that to the changes you want to make.

Let’s put the change you want to make on a scale of 0-10 for importance. Lower numbers are superficial desires. A 9 or a 10 is that deep, emotional importance that is tied to the things you care about the most. To make a long-term change, you need to be working in that 9-10 level.

To create that connection, I challenge you to play the game of 5 Whys. It works like this:

1. Take the change you want to make and ask why that is important.

2. Take the answer to #1 and ask why that is important.

3. Continue that process until you’ve asked “Why” five times.

4. After 5 Whys, see if the importance now scores a 9 or a 10.

During this game, one of two things is going to happen. You’ll either discover how the change relates to the things of emotional importance in your life, or you won’t. When you create an emotional connection, you’ll find that you have a lot more commitment to change. If you don’t connect, you should consider putting your energy into a different change.

When you find a change you want to make, let me know. It can be our little secret. But telling someone is another step in the change process. It makes it REAL and it creates a supportive framework for you. And that’s what I’m here for.